High school can be a real bitch. Even though there are hundreds of people around you, you’ve never felt so alone. Everything matters. The length of your skirt, what kind of shoes you’re wearing, how you walk, talk, and laugh. It’s insane. One wrong move and you’re as good as dead.
Watching 13 Reasons Why brought back some scary memories. Guys that were a year older than me telling me to kill myself on Facebook, crying in my Spanish teacher’s classroom before school, telling my therapist I couldn’t live like this anymore… I look back on my younger self and my heart sinks. What if I was pushed to the edge? What would’ve been the “last straw”?
If you knew me back then you wouldn’t have recognized the pain I was in. I always had a smile on my face and a joke in my mouth. I acted like the rumors didn’t bother me but on the inside I was screaming for help.
I don’t tell you this to pity me. I tell you this as a warning. It’s so important to keep your eyes open and to pay attention. Don’t brush off bullying like it’s no big deal. It’s a big fucking deal.
I was on the other side too, ya know… I was the bully in some circumstances and I try to make up for it every day. I pushed people around and made them feel insecure about themselves. I mean, I couldn’t be the only miserable one right? I want to believe I’m a better person these days. I smile at strangers, I give to charities, I have friends from all different backgrounds. But I still make mistakes. I talk shit, I judge others, and I hold grudges but watching 13 Reasons Why brought all of this to light.
We’re not perfect but this isn’t an excuse to have a mean-spirited soul. You never know what someone is going through. You never know how much a simple “hello” could mean to a random person. You’re no better than anyone else and no one is better than you. God made us EQUALLY in his image. You don’t get a gold star because you drive a Ferrari and have perfectly straight teeth. You’re just like everyone else.
So follow the golden rule and be the reason why someone chooses to live today. You have NO IDEA what your kindness could mean to the world in this moment.