Everyone asks me if I was scared before I moved to California. The answer is yes and no. Yes, because I had moved to Madrid, Spain only a month prior and failed MISERABLY (We can save this for another blog post). I was scared that was going to happen again. You can never predict the outcome of a big decision in your life.
The “no” part of my answer is because I knew I was supposed to be doing something more than waiting tables in Daphne, Alabama. So many people have this gut feeling and don’t chase after it but I didn’t want to be the girl described as “having so much potential.” I’m not the type of person who can settle down in a quiet town, pop out a few kids, and spend the rest of my days as a stay-at-home mom. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying that is a BAD path to take. It’s just not for me.
So here I am. In Orange County, California. Am I glad that I chose to take this leap? ABSOLUTELY. I am happier than I’ve ever been because this magical place has fulfilled my life in so many amazing ways. But as much as Cali has given me, I’ve come to realize that you don’t have to move all the way across the country to find happiness.
A year ago, I was completely miserable and I was living in California at the time. I hated my job, I thought I wanted my ex-boyfriend back, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life… I had a genuine quarter-life crisis. I was crying every day, I couldn’t sleep, and I started getting migraines (which I’ve never had before). I was seriously considering moving back to Alabama.
Thankfully my father convinced me to stick it out for a little while longer. I finally accepted a new job offer and started picking up the pieces that were my depressing life. Since then, there have been some shitty times but I haven’t let it ruin me. I’m stronger than ever.
I’ve learned to find the good in things. I take risks and when I fall, I pick up the pieces and keep going. My leaps have taught me who I am. I no longer care what others think of me, which is SO freeing. I look back at high school Caroline and feel so bad for that poor girl. She was so insecure and lived every day as if she was walking on eggshells.
I am so unbelievably proud of how far I’ve come and who I am today. But I could have never accomplished this joy without taking risks and making mistakes. I am so heartbroken by the young women who think they are stuck in life. There is SO much out there. You just have to start exploring.
If this blog does anything, I hope it will push people to say “fuck it” and seek out a life they truly LOVE. Just remember, your days are numbered.